The Photograph She Carries

Quick answer: What do American Gold Star Mothers do?

American Gold Star Mothers is an organization of mothers who have lost sons and daughters in service to the country; it turns one hundred in 2028. In John Fenzel's account, members like Theresa Karlson sit with new Gold Star mothers, sign the cards, and keep telling their children's stories and saying their names.

John and his wife Ciri drove to Washington because American Gold Star Mothers had asked him to keynote their Gold Star Mother's Weekend. He'd said yes months earlier, then spent two weeks realizing he had no idea what to say to a room full of women who had buried their sons and daughters. He threw out draft after draft. What survived was a handful of stories and a hope that they'd say what he couldn't: that we are grateful and forever in their debt. He tied service to sacrifice, sacrifice to remembrance, and remembrance to the responsibility the rest of us carry. Tell the stories. Say the names. On the way out, a woman stopped at their table and said, “You know, we are neighbors!” Theresa Karlson lives just down the road in Millersville, Maryland. She took out the photograph she keeps with her, and told John what her son had wanted when he got home: Maryland crabs and a Natty Boh. Fourteen years later, she still does the work.

Why it matters for leaders: Remembrance isn't a speech; it's the steady work of saying the names and showing up for the families who carry them.

Q: What message did John give the Gold Star Mothers?

A: Tell the stories. Say the names. No one tells a boy's story better than his mother, and no one has ever told one longer.

Q: Who is Theresa Karlson?

A: A Gold Star mother from Millersville, Maryland, John's neighbor, who carries a photograph of her son and now sits with new mothers.

Read the full essay on Substack → https://heroespath.substack.com/p/the-photograph-she-carries

By John Fenzel, founder and CEO of Heroes' Path Foundation